slapfight | [ENTRANCEWAY] IC CONTACT

So you did come out to congratulate me?
All right, all right, at least let me slip into something more comfortable before we get going.

[Peridot has what she is unaware is called a "gay panic."]

More... comfortable???

This is a first for me, so be gentle ♥

[Thank you, Peri, for reliably taking bait. A punchline's no fun without setup. So with that questionable fanfare, M'Lapis goes ahead and emerges from her mirror, lifting her skirt to step delicately over the frame. Peridot's end table is slightly in the way, but she makes sidling out alongside it look smooth, ending leaned over to rest her elbows on it. Which also puts her a bit all up in Peridot's grill.]

It's really somewhere more comfortable, come to think of it.

[Peridot, predictably,

falls off the end table.

It's a graceless, flailing fall, accompanied by a surprised noise and she ends up ass over teakettle on the floor, staring up at M'Lapis like she's suffering a great honor and horrible surprise at the same time. The first is that, well, she does like M'Lapis and they've had some rough patches. The second is because, well... She just facilitated Lapis getting sent to the Mirror Side.

Well, maybe she can read Pretty Hairstylist over there in peace?? She can think about that later.]

...Hi. I, uh... Erm... Thought I'd have more time to prepare for this.

[Really, how delightful. It's more delightful than M'Lapis had expected, despite her knowing full well how predictable it is. It's so delightful that it could almost loop back around to disappointing. That Peridot is still dense enough to never see anything coming, and to like her, and be happy about this. M'Lapis is long past being able to amuse herself by pretending it's anything other than stupidity. But in the end that has always been what's made Peridot so charming, and it's not like pissing her off is a goal or anything.

Also, she cracks up, of course.]

It was sweet of you to work so hard to welcome me at all! I mean, this is supposed to just be normal now.

[She pushes herself over and onto her elbows and laughs a little awkwardly, herself... Like she's just laughing to laugh, not because anything is funny.] I'm still getting used to it. My own Mirror doesn't even cross over at all.

[smash cut to Mirrordot in a limb enhanced fetal position under a table, chewing on one of her mechanical fingers.]

Good thing she's such a killjoy! I mean, I know you've been looking forward to seeing me.

Of course I have! [She stumbles back to her feet now, like enthusiasm will cover up the fact that maybe she hasn't thought as much about M'Lapis as she probably should have been. It's complicated. It's all so very complicated.] It's so difficult getting to talk to Mirrors in person. And there's something so... Uh... Awkward about scribbling on mirrors to talk. And I'm sure getting out of the dreary Mirror Side every once and awhile is good for you. Our grounds are so much better.

[She casts a look at the mirror as if she can feel the presence of regular Lapis looking through it and growing angrier. She turns back and slyly adds in what's an attempt at subtlety:] We should take a walk! Take in some of that Real Side air?

[Hmmmmm.

M'Lapis actually hesitates, a bit torn about how to play this. On the one hand, she would have liked to milk the current moment more. That would really be ideal. The best-case scenario might not be a possibility no matter what she does, and it's not clear exactly how far she can push it, but if she plays her cards right there may well still be something there.

On the other hand, there's definitely a lot of appeal in just walking off with Peridot. That's not a bad move at all. Except that only half of it aligns with what M'Lapis actually wants to do, left to her own devices. There are ways to work that too, to get some of the best of both worlds, but it'd be a bit lukewarm, wouldn't it? There's so much more pizzazz in picking one direction or another and playing it to the hilt.

In the end, although she again probably wouldn't admit it, it perhaps comes down to sheer contrarianism. All else being equal, M'Lapis doesn't really feel like giving anyone else what they want, regardless of whether or not it might also work for her. No, that's not what she's here for today. She turns to sit on the end table and then turns once again to facing Peridot, her back to the mirror which she absolutely doesn't want to draw any more attention to.]

Oh, I definitely will. There's gonna be plenty of time for that, though. And I wouldn't want to give you the wrong idea.

The... Wrong idea? Uh. [Peridot's sly expression and her veneer of what she imagined was "coolness" just vanishes as cleanly as a screenwipe. She has no idea what she's doing anymore, as if she ever did. Ever since last Christmas, everything she thought she understood about M'Lapis sort shorted out and left her with a whole lot of nothing. Add that to the awkwardness of Real Lapis, and we're left with Peridot being restored back to default settings with relationships.

In that she doesn't know how to have them.]

I don't understand.

[Good. Peridot's charm really is enhanced all the more when she's off-balance. M'Lapis does not intend to explain herself quickly.]

Well, let's see... Like, again, we all know you've been looking forward to this, right? There's no shame in it. Anyone can want a change of pace sometimes.

A change of pace? [She's so off-balance, she might as well be on the floor at this point. She's not wrong. That last event was a doozy for her and Lapis and she spends more time outside with the garden and the 'morps than she does in the barn.

She swallows, nodding. Yeah, she's right. Wonderland has become smaller and more tightly controlled, which is good for her need for structure, but bad for her newfound sense of freedom and need to hurl herself bodily into productivity that doesn't feel meaningless.

She looks around and slumps, her voice taking on the edge of a defeated sigh, like M'Lapis has basically forced her to admit something she was trying so very hard to ignore.] Things have been getting... routine around here.

[Honestly, if M'Lapis actually did know more about what goes on in the Reals' lives, her tactics might be different. But she tends to assume she already knows everything she could ever need to. It's apparently accomplishing something in any case, by whatever her reckoning is.]

Routine, exactly! Nothing ever changes for you anymore. Your life is boring. So it's no wonder you'd crave a little time with someone like me, someone who's actually fun! [Big smile!] You're desperate!

[This is starting to spiral downwards into something Peridot isn't sure she likes. Admittedly, some of that sounds like Amethyst's tactics, but from her, they always sound sincere... From M'Lapis, it's weirder. Maybe it's because Lapis's face and vocal tics naturally lend themselves to deadpan humor, and so this kind of talk just sounds like sardonic viciousness with a saccharine candy coating.

Either way, it's not comfortable. She flusters a bit, for a different reason this time. Surprise, the egocentric little brat doesn't respond to negging.] I'm not desperate.

Please. You're so ready to drop everything, forget everything, just to be with me. And, again, that makes total sense. I'm better than anything else you have.

[She hops off the table again, actually. So there is a line! That's interesting! There are always more things she would have liked to be able to do, but this is going to feel good.]

But you've gotta be fair here. What's in it for me?

I was being nice. [Peridot stammers a bit and it's hard to tell whether she's angry or just so flummoxed she can't speak.]

Wait. What do you mean what's in it for you? That's not how this works!

[She would know. Part of her redemption arc™ was learning that.]

[What, of course that's how it works. People are friends because they want friends, so everyone gets something out of it and it's a fair exchange. It's just a problem when someone's not getting what they want anymore, is all.]

Peridot... look, I really didn't want to have to be the one to explain this. [Yeah right.] But, you know, they say that if you're bored you're boring. It's you. The problem is you.

[The quarters are still close, and M'Lapis points, putting her finger right in Peridot's face. She's affecting a bit of ruefulness, as if she really did regret having to give this harsh but fair honest concrit, and even that is shaky. Beneath it is only sunny and cheerful as ever, like she's helpfully explaining something Peridot will have to agree with.]

You've gotten boring. The thing is, I'm better than anything else in your life right now, but you, by definition, aren't. And it's not like I don't appreciate the offer and all, but this isn't about you and it never has been. You're fun once in a while, but I didn't come over just to see you. I don't need you!

[She recoils like she's been slapped and the finger in her face feels like a weapon and she ends up reacting as such, cowering just a bit as she's assaulted with this information. It's not true! She's the great and lovable Peridot! Any time she's around is a gift to those who get to spend time with her! That's how it's always been.

But... if that's true then why hasn't the real Lapis bridged the weird gap between them? Is she grateful that she's pulled back? Is she finally free of her incessant hovering?

That thought is quickly overwritten by the very real situation at hand, however, which is someone right in this moment does not like her. And that is terrifying. It opens too many doors.

Is she, Peridot, not inherently loved by all?

Maybe this is not the lesson she should be taking from this, but it sure is the one that she's become fixated on. Her cowering reaches a point where she can either curl into a fetal ball and wail or she can snap back and, in the end, Peridot's ego always wins. She will not stand here and just take this defamation of her character.

She plants both feet on the ground, clenches her fists at her side, and after a moment of incoherent growling, finally snaps.]

Fine! Then go hang out with someone else. And good luck finding anyone in this place who's as interesting and wonderful and lovable as me, the great Peridot. You'll be back. Heh. [She crosses her arms over her chest and tries to sneer, but it's more of a grimace. She's shaking now and not all of it is anger. Anger is just what she decided on between a buffet of other feelings. Anger has always served her well.

Except where it doesn't.] Maybe I'm the one who's better than anything you've got going on. You just don't want to admit it. [And to punctuate this maturely, she sticks her tongue out.] Nyeh.

[Oh wow. Maybe pissing Peridot off really was a goal. M'Lapis continues smiling pleasantly, because the more Peridot loses control, the more that must mean she has it. There is no way this tantrum can get under her skin when she got there first, and she can't possibly lose a fight because she decides whether or not to have one. She meets the outburst with nothing more than a dismissive eyeroll.]

Okay, you're really being melodramatic about this. I know it's tough to hear, but it's not fair to get mad at me for your own shortcomings. Sooner or later, you're going to have to accept that there's a ton you don't understand. You've never been as smart as you think you are, Peridot.

[So damn reasonable. Not a low blow at all.]

But I'll let you cool off a bit. Don't worry too much, all right? I'm not going to hold this against you.

[The pointing finger jabs forth anew, and Peridot's visor fogs up. While she's occupied with that M'Lapis traipses off, the hint of a giggle trailing down the hall as she disappears.]

[Peridot's hair actively frays at the edges even more than it normally does, like her form has actually decided to alter itself purely based on mood. She is either going to explode or drop into a fetal ball and there's no telling which.

Unfortunately, her visor fogs up before she can make that decision and she ends up flailing about trying to unfog it (did she remove it? did a car horn distract us from ever seeing her remove it? we just don't know). By the time she manages to see again, M'Lapis is walking away giggling.

Well. Stars. She can't let her get the last word.] MAYBE YOU SHOULD... HRGH...

[Oh there's the frustrated screaming and foot stomping.] Stupid... [And incoherent grumbling continues.

And scene.]

[Is it?

Maybe so. Peridot is awfully worked up, perhaps ready any moment to stomp off somewhere else to fume or whatever, and it would after all be impossible to stop her. There's nobody here to call out to her or reach a hand after her. There's no good way to get her attention. After all that drama, it must be very easy to miss something as small as words appearing on that same mirror again. So maybe Act One really was the end of it.

That would be a shame, though. For one thing, it's a little unfair to forget the other party who's been involved here. And, given a say in the matter, Peridot surely would want to notice, despite her mood. The writing is in a familiar hand, although across the glass it comes out backwards, a mistake no Mirror would make.]

?todireP

[Fortunately, Peridot has not moved on, because she's too paralyzed with rage to do anything more than stomp around in a circle and finding new and inventive ways to use the word "clod." Apparently it can be used as everything but an adjective, but she's working around to that one. Cloddingly has potential.

It's either coincidence or just a feeling of unease like someone's watching her that makes her turn back to the mirror. Truth being told, she did forget that for M'Lapis to be here, Lapis would have to be on the other side.]

Lapis?! [Said out loud. She climbs back up onto the end table she'd unceremoniously vacated by falling when M'Lapis crawled out of the mirror like so much Ring Waif. She retrieves her marker and scrawls a screed against M'Lapis.]

YOUR MIRROR TRICKED ME. I HAVE NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE MET A WORSE CLOD THAN THAT CLODDY CLOD...

[Honestly she's gonna be writing "clod" for awhile until she's stopped. That mirror can only hold so much.]

[You know, Mirror Side must keep so many writing supplies stocked next to mirrors. Does anyone ever think about that?! I mean, it's not actually important in this case, because Lapis would presumably be fine with whatever her Mirror had been using. Or, you know, whatever it is that's going on over there. Peridot can't see. Perhaps Lapis, too, is upset; it wouldn't show if she was, and this medium inflicts a certain measured quality regardless. Or maybe despite her situation she's playing the calm one in response to Peridot's distress, patiently waiting out the tantrum by choice and not just necessity.

There is a hesitation after Peridot finishes ranting. The writing on the other side finds some remaining blank space and proceeds more slowly, carefully, and correctly; it seems she noticed the translation problem and is attempting to write backwards for Peridot's benefit.]

I can h

[The h comes out reversed. That lasted absolutely no time at all. Man, whatever. Lapis gives up on that and goes back to writing normally-for-her and everyone will just live with it. The player, however, will not continue typing backwards because that's an even bigger pain OOC than it is for the characters, and we're not here to make life hard for ourselves. Peridot can adapt to it, anyway.]

I can hear you.

[She's still seething and feeling vulnerable and self-involved, so while she ought to ask if Lapis is okay- she's not, she is trapped behind a mirror. There is no okay for that, but it is arguably a problem with a solution since M'Lapis will get booted out at midnight anyway. Doesn't help Lapis now, but Peridot's getting better at balancing her wants and needs with providing for the wants and needs of others.

It's her timing that is always off.

Well, at least they're having a conversation instead of the bare minimum of social interaction meant to keep things light and breezy and not focusing on the tragedy of their existence as of the dream side.]

Lapis. Am I boring?

That's the last thing you are. You're not anything like she said.

[The briefest of pauses, barely needed.]

I'm sorry

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I can't believe I ended up having another use for this icon

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