slapfight | [ENTRANCEWAY] IC CONTACT

[Okay, let's step back for a moment and talk about Lapis after all, who was minding her own goddamn business like half an hour ago and now all this. Even if Peridot can only hope to speculate, there are certainly some things we know about her. The depth of what she's doing right now could never be lost on her; no, she's found herself back in a familiar space again. The one where she's watching but not present, not quite real, limited, voiceless, separated from life by a space that is an impassible barrier.

The thing is, though, she's had this done to her before and she's done this to herself before, and even if there's not much logic behind it, this one feels like both. Because she already was pulling away, wasn't she? Ever since that dreamland hit her with the feelings she has no idea how to handle. She's not present now, but it feels like she should have been more there all along. It feels like she should have said something long before M'Lapis used her voiceto tear Peridot down, like she could have done something that would have been protection against her. She doesn't know how and she doesn't know what else to do, but there has to be something missing, and it must be her.

For the most part, that isn't really true. Lapis can't actually stop her Mirror from doing whatever through sheer force of will, and in any case, a little awkwardness around the barn-room is hardly the worst thing this relationship has been through. But hey, considering the circumstances, she could be doing a lot worse than that level of irrationality. Anyway, that's why the 'I'm sorry' wasn't entirely about M'Lapis, and it's why this isn't either.]

I miss you.

[Peridot's kneejerk inability to interpret nuance when presented it suddenly almost has her saying "you've been gone for less than ten minutes" until it hits her that this isn't even about the fact that they're separated by a pane of glass and another dimension. There was a pain of glass between them for a month, both of them curled up and sorting (or not sorting) their feelings to try and see what was the dream and what was the reality.

Peridot still doesn't have much of an answer, but she does know that she misses Lapis and hates the stupid wall between them and now it's literal. Tentatively, she lifts her hand and then places it on the mirror.]

I miss you, too. I didn't mean to pull back. I just... Needed to sort through the data. I didn't want to hurt you because what if what I felt wasn't real? What if none of it was real?

[It wasn't happening at home. Lapis left her and even if she comes back- thanks Bismuth- that doesn't change that it happened and she has no idea where they stand anymore outside of this space. So logically if she's not thinking like this back on Earth, then the problem is Wonderland.

And if the problem is Wonderland, then can they trust anything?

But that's an excuse. There are plenty of things Peridot knows are real.] We're friends. That's real. We should be doing this together, not letting Wonderland keep us apart again.

Edited 2019-09-03 21:04 (UTC)

[After a moment, an outline begins to appear around Peridot's hand. Only more Lapis-sized, of course. It's like someone's about to draw a turkey. Let's hope that's the non-dominant hand, because she only has so many and in another moment there's gonna be more writing.]

Do you remember when you told me that moving forward is about wanting things?
I guess I'm still not very good at it.

Edited (I guess really I should just go ahead and) 2019-09-04 15:54 (UTC)

I mean I do enough wanting for both of us... Heh. [The laugh is half-hearted, weak and probably meant to just fill space.] I just want everything, because I'm not used to having anything.

[She drops her hand and thuds her head against the mirror like she can phase through it with just the power of her gem. Even such a light tap against her gem sends little needles of warning pain throughout her body and she shudders.] But right now I just want you... [she pauses, swallows, realizes a heavy implication in those words, and jerks her head back, turning blue around the cheeks. She ends up stammering.] ...To be here. With me. So we can deal with this properly and stop turning out backs on it. Ugh! We were getting so good at this communication thing.

[The writing comes in halting bursts of individual urgency.]

No, I do want something
and I didn't know how to handle it
and there are always things I don't tell you
but none of that is as important as
I just want to be there too.

[There are other things she could say. Maybe she would have if she were speaking. Maybe being stripped down to her essentials like this is for the best. Or is that not communicating? But this really is what matters, in the end.]

There's things I don't tell you too...

[And admittedly that was why she left wasn't it? Because she didn't express how she felt until it was too late.] But that's just because I don't really understand them, myself.

[She hits the mirror with a tiny fist and since she is as weak as a kitten sans powers, all it does is hurt her knuckles. Also breaking a mirror won't make Lapis just emerge.] This would be so much easier if you weren't in a mirror!

You're telling me.

[No matter what, snark WILL make it through.]

There's
no way to stop this from happening
is there?

Negative. The Mirror Side is lawless now without a matriarch. Maybe I can coax my Mirror into crossing over. At least then you wouldn't be alone.

[Smash cut to Mirror Peridot Tina Belcher groaning and rocking back and forth in a fetal position.]

Edited 2019-09-07 22:50 (UTC)

I wonder if I could throw her through.

[Alas, that still wouldn't really be helpful, so it's just more snark. Why you gotta be such a killjoy, Mirrordot.]

[It works in the sense in that it makes Peridot snort again.] Hey, if you get the chance because you don't have much else to do while you wait for the cycle to complete and your Mirror to be imprisoned again- take her limb enhancers. She needs to be free from her shackles. It'll be good for her.

I don't think there's an ocean to dump them in over here. Do you think I can take them with me?

[There, this isn't so bad, right? Being unhappy about legitimately lousy situations but sitting around making jokes about it. The sense of being lost and at a loss isn't going anywhere, but at least some things can become a bit more familiar again.]

You can try.

[She adjust herself a bit, getting more comfortable.] I think I'll just stay here until she's forced back over to that side. That way you don't have to be lonely or find ways to distract yourself.

Edited 2019-09-10 20:47 (UTC)

[And that. The problem's not going anywhere, but neither are they. That is a relief; in a different way, it feels like being back.

This is the dawning of a new ongoing headache. Lapis can deal with it, at this point. She'll never be happy with it, but she'll adapt to it. Right now, though, even if all she has are cold backwards letters on glass to get across -- she takes a moment trying and failing to come up with words that might actually live up to the meaning behind them -- she really does not want to be left alone.]

Thank you.

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